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[Dec. 8th, 2005|11:11 pm] |
i was prepared to roll and fix everything. i thought i would magically feel better. who am i kidding? i can't fix all of these problems by having one good last night with these people it doesn't fix shit.
i just want to go home. HOME home. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|07:17 am] |
jen and i basically have 3 options right now...
we can both move home, me to LA and her to dallas;
we can both move to LA and get an apartment together;
we can both find a new apartment here in SB together
and why the hell am i awake right now?? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|03:14 am] |
jen and i are going to LA this weekend.
hang out with me.
:) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|01:46 am] |
this is so random i don't even know what to think... even though tonight was fucking terrible it was also wonderful at the same time. i gained a newfound respect for my friends. i realize why i love them so much. i hate arguments but this one will be over soon enough, for good. who would've known? i feel like i've broken up with a boyfriend.
whatever on a better note jen reg and i got pretty fucked up and ended up leaving the camera on video. it's a pretty fuckin funny video wow hhahaa. i think i'm gonna do this more often... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|01:21 am] |
it never fails. when i think it's about to crash, it peaks. when i think it's nearing the end, it's even more the beginning. when i think i am wasting my thoughts, they're just new feelings. everything happens for a reason. maybe not in a psychic, predestined way, but in a way to allow us these better opportunities that give us some part of what we've been looking for. i used to question my motives and steer things the wrong way but i realize that at this point in this moment, i can't even change it. it's past that defining point and it's now making it's way on it's own. it is out of my hands and out of my reach. it keeps me guessing, and i like it like that.
if you think you know what this is about, you're probably wrong.
and if it didn't make the least bit sense to you, i have succeeded.
♥
thinkhappythoughts. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2005|01:54 am] |
i feel really fucking ridiculous saying this
but i think i am seriously at that point
where i want a constant source of happiness
...such as love.
but not just with anyone...
edit: it must get tiring talking about yourself to that extent.. or apparently NOT. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|02:40 am] |
i pretty much have a massive headache right now
not only that but my thinking hasnt stopped, at all..
and tonight kind of keeps pushing my decision even further the other way.
maybe i just need to accept the fact that i am a city girl
and i need some fucking movement outside between the hours of 8 and 4, at least
i dunno if i can keep going i am wearing myself out here
and all i can think about is how much i love my life back home...
im pretty much thinking i wont have a definite answer until the end of winter break
so i guess i'll just wait it out and see.
san fran and amsterdam here i come...
thats pretty much what im looking forward to and thats about it.
and then theres that stuff on the side.. but thats pretty much more heart over mind.
doesnt need as much thought as this stuff.
or does it...
so who wants to go get really high and lay on the sand right now? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|03:10 pm] |
there is so much sexual tension how can we all not want to just fuck eachother? it sucks.
trust no one. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|12:33 pm] |
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i fucked up. i am so stupid. nothing ever works out the way it's supposed to. i should've known though. but in the process i definitely found 2 new ones. its weird how much a number means. the second i saw it i fell in love haha. i am so bad.. grr. wonder what tonight will bring... |
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